A statement by openly critical veteran SNP activist Graeme McCormick, announces his withdrawal from the campaign for SNP Leadership due to coming down with Swinne Flu. This dangerous and debilitating strain of flu also struck down Kate Forbes last week and does seem to be spreading rapidly between SNP members. NHS Scotland advises maintaining a minimum distance from the SNP of at least two elections.
In other news, top SNP Leadership were seen shopping for mattresses over the weekend. An anonymous source at SNP Headquarters revealed that a large portion of the remaining party budget had been ring-fenced for mattresses. Shares in Dreams Limited are said to have shot up in overnight trading.
Police Scotland have responded to reports a headless horse has been seen running near Bute House.