The former First Minister, former Scottish National Party Party Leader, former Cabinet Secretary for Health and Social Care, former Cabinet Secretary for Justice, former Minister for Transport and the Islands, former Minister for Europe and International Development, former Minister for External Affairs and International Development – Humza Yousaf – had a dream. [Editor: We will not reveal our source] [Justin: Bit defensive there] [Editor: You haven’t heard what the dream was yet]
In Humza Yousaf’s dream, he was walking through the streets of Gaza when an angel appeared and took him to heaven. In Heaven, he was met by Jesus. Humza looked round and asked, “Where is the Prophet?”
Jesus answered, “The prophet is not here.”
Humza was disturbed by this answer, but felt unable to enquire further of Jesus.
Jesus led Humza to a grand banquet table, laid out with all kinds of food. Humza looked and saw there was all kinds of Halal food and also all kinds of Haram food.
“Sit down and eat,” Jesus told him.
“But my Lord,” Humza replied, “some of this food is Haram.”
“Sit down and eat,” Jesus told him again.
Again, Humza protested. This happened three times. Then Jesus sat down beside Humza and began to eat. As he ate, Jesus told Humza a story.
“An Israeli was going down from Jerusalem to Kfar Aza, when he was attacked by Hamas. Out of ammo, they stripped him of his clothes, beat him and thinking he was dead, went away, leaving him half dead. An Ayatollah happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, an Imam, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Palestinian, as he traveled, came where the Israeli was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, spraying them with antiseptic. Then he put the man in his jeep, brought him to a hospital and waited while the doctors and nurses took care of him. The next day he took out his credit card and left it with the hospital administrators. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’”
Jesus turned to Humza and asked him, “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the Israeli who fell into the hands of Hamas?”
Humza replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”
At this, Humza woke in a cold sweat. He got up from his couch and began to run.