A press release from the office of Satan today reveals that Jordan Peterson has been fired as Satan’s spokesperson/demon.
“We’ve been a highly successful brand for over six thousand years in large part because we don’t draw attention to ourselves,” Satan’s new spokesdemon shared. “Signing Tweets from Satan, as Dr Peterson has been doing, was destroying the subtlety of our multi-generational, simu-phase worldwide marketing campaigns. We couldn’t ignore this. We made repeated attempts to discipline Dr Peterson, finally resorting to involving College of Psychologists of Ontario, but he continues to release new statements in Satan’s name.”
The spokesdemon, whose pronouns are legion, continued: “Dr Jordan Peterson does not represent Satan. Dr Jordan Peterson does not speak for Satan. Dr Jordan Peterson does not Tweet for Satan.”
The Notional did a quick five minute search on X (formerly Twitter [Yeah, we don’t get it either]) and found Dr Peterson does not seem to have got the memo:
Hey compassionate butchers!
— Dr Jordan B Peterson (@jordanbpeterson) February 11, 2024
How do you feel about this?
Sincerely,
Satan https://t.co/bDmGKXw7gp
If you're willing to sterilize and mutilate children are you going to quibble about psychology?
— Dr Jordan B Peterson (@jordanbpeterson) February 7, 2024
Sincerely,
Satan himself https://t.co/GnuUKsJ4kM