You may notice we’ve been quiet on the fake news front for a fair few months. Well, today The Notional can reveal that we’ve been following the SNP round on an extended road trip of their fake embassies. And what a jolly it was!
It is not often as a journalist, fake or otherwise, that you get to visit some truly wonderful locations. Just look where you can get a job for the boys if you know the right people in the highest echelons of the Scottish Government:
| OFFICE | BUDGET FOR (2022-23) | STAFF HEADCOUNT |
| Beijing, China | 567,000 | 4 |
| Berlin, Germany | 572,000 | 3 |
| Brussels, Belgium | 2,467,000 | 17 |
| Copenhagen, Denmark | 598,000 | 3 |
| Dublin, Ireland | 593,000 | 3 |
| London, England | 2,180,000 | 16 |
| Ottawa, Canada | 634,000 | 4 |
| Paris, France | 659,000 | 3 |
| Washington DC, United States | 794,000 | 5 |
With a “total annual wage bill for all staff in our international network [of] £2,716,064” that’s an average of just under £50K (including costs for National Insurance etc etc) per person, which is nice work if you can get it. Our application to work in Copenhagen was turned down, as were our applications for Beijing and Washington DC. But we’re not bitter. [Editor: Do you have something against the other locations? Justin: No, we just don’t want to live there.]
As stated in Scotland’s International Network Annual Report 2023-24, “Scotland’s centuries-old economic links with the rest of the world are broad and deep.” From the rape and pillaging by and of the Vikings to colonial ambitions in Panama, Scots have always had one eye on the sea.
The generosity of the Scottish SNP government knows few boundaries, to those it values. Able to use our hard earned taxes as it sees fit, employing people to travel thousands of miles to promote Scottish independence is seen as money well spent. We certainly enjoyed our time with the hard working Scots who devote all their working hours to promoting Scotland’s interests, and a significant amount of time after hours also.